Hell is for Lovers
by specialraven
Summary: Hmmm... what happens in the molten core of the earth when two traitors finally meet? One thing is for sure, hell was never so fun. Ter x Mal Rated T for suggestive dialogue
1. Chapter 1

Terra woke up. All around her were flames, licking at her calves. It was sweltering hot and she was very grateful that at least half of the bandage-like things on her apprentice uniform were ripped of. A second later, she realized where she was.

"Shit."

"And that's part of the reason you're here, young lady. Mostly it was the whole I-shall-betray-the-Titans-and work-for-Slade deal, but the swearing tipped the balance all the way over." said a voice, sounding oddly like he was speaking into a microphone that was hooked up to speakers all over. In other words, surround-sound. "Now, before you are assigned to your room, should you choose to sleep in it or not is not my problem, any questions?"

"I-"

"None? Good, your room number is 20, NEXT!"

"Mother fu-"Terra stared to mumble, however, she stopped as soon as she ran into someone. Terra looked up, and saw the hottest guy she had seen in hell as of yet.

"Such language from such a beautiful girl! Malchior of Null at your service." said the hot and _papery _guy.

"I'm Terra."

"Terra? Raven spoke of a "Terra." Tell me; are you of any relation to the Teen Titans?"

"Raven? She was always such a witch!"

"Yes, indeed she was. Pray tell, what did the little hag do to a beauty such as you?"

"She was a witch while I was with the Titans. I think she was on to my apprenticeship to Slade."

"Ah, I see. Well, perhaps you would like to see your room? And possibly even mine?" Malchior winked suggestively.

"I'd love to."

I am a deranged person, am I not? No, despite what you may think, this will not be a lemon. I can't write those! I am in fact, not that perverse. This is a totally weird pairing, yes, but I wanted to see how it would turn out. I was planning on making this stay a one-shot, but if people want me to continue, I will. Now that you've read this, why don't you give it a go? I want to see you try a MalchiorxTerra fic, so I don't hafta read only my perspective! Come on, you know you wanna! And By the way, Please review, not flame because the pairing has scarred you for life.


	2. Bedrooms

Terra followed closely behind Malchior, afraid she would lose him if she didn't. For all he told her about being stuck in a book for 15,000 years before death, he was pretty fast. Left and right, right and left they turned, down the hallways that seemed to never end. Nobody told her that the office was near the google numbers.

They finally reached Terra's room, and she plopped down on her bed. With her hair spread all around her head, Malchior had to admit, she looked rather attractive. Almost enough so….. (Yes, your mind is supposed to be in the gutter)

No! No, no, no. There was no way she was going help him get out of this hell-hole. Her element of expertise was earth. Unless….he could….teach…no, that was impossible! Though he had read rather a lot and distinctly remembered a way to help people control new elements. Perhaps he could get her to control fire as well as earth. Hmmm…

Terra was very comfortable. The bed was cushy. The pillows were her favorite color, red. And Malchior was staring at her. Her life- er, death was complete.

"Malchior?"

"Yes, mi'lady?" he replied absent-mindedly.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing important. How would you like to see my room Terra?"

"That would be great! So, what number is your room?"

"7, I'm sure you'll be happy to hear."

"Thank Go-"

Malchior shushed her. "Shh, not so loud! We are in hell! Satan always hated his brother. They've been stuck in a childish battle since the beginning of time."

Terra stored that in her file named "Wacko Things about Wacko Places."

Malchior's room was almost exactly like her's. Same size, same bed linen. However, the similarities were hard to see under the mounds, piles and heaps of books in his room. Hell, she could even see an Encyclopedia Brown book. Which disturbed her. A lot.

"Er, Malchior?"

"Yes Terra?"

"The Encyclopedia Brown book?"

Malchior turned crimson." Um, that was a gift from my mother."

Needless to say, Terra was freaked out. That passed, however and she began to snicker, which continued for about thirty seconds. After that, well let's just say if Terra wasn't dead already, she would be now. Yes, she was laughing that hard.

Malchior was getting redder by the second. Luckily, thanks to those wonderful clichés, the bell, signaling it was lunch time.

Bwuhahahaha! Cliffy, sorta… Anyway, I forget to tell you last chapter, but I don't own Teen Titans. Just in case you were wondering. Thanks for reviews on the previous chapter, they made me feel warm and fuzzy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Oh, and I don't own Encyclopedia Brown. Please review, but don't flame 'cause the pairing scarred you for life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! Ha, a new chapter! Yeah, I probably is the Apocalypse…. Sigh. I'm gonna try to make this one longer, but I can't promise anything. On another note, there seems to be the start of a plot in this chapter, if you wear glasses and squint, while turn 26.47 degrees to the right.**

"What the hell?"

"Right, you're new to this whole hell thing, aren't you? Well, uh, the higher-ups' explanation for this is that it makes Hell feel, well, more hellish. You know, like high-school? This is lunch time."

Terra blinked, and then blinked again. 'Jesus, the insanity of this place!' she thought, right as they were passing in front some workers, who glared at her.

'Oh, right. Hell. Bad thing to even think here.'

Terra was shocked out of her chain of thought by a papery hand being placed on her shoulder. She whirled around to face Malchior, surprised, and… wait, was that happy? That was, wasn't it? Damn!

Malchior was confused. What was she so happy about? Had she still not let go of the Encyclopedia Brown thing? Because that wasn't his fault!

"Mi'lady? Does the Encyclopedia Brown, er… dilemma still humor you?"

"Oh, uh…" In fact, it did, but Terra was pretty sure that wasn't it. "No, no, I just never got to go to high school, ya know? New thing for me."

LATER AT LUNCH

"Say, Terra, you have the ability to manipulate earth, correct?"

"Uh, I did… I'm not sure about now though."

"Well, how about trying, as soon as I finish this dirt clod they call food?"

"Yeah, I guess it couldn't hurt…"

LATER STILL

The area was…weird. That was the best way to describe it. Well, that and impossible. There was a track area in Hell. Seriously, who thought of that? Apparently, Terra thought so too, because she gave Malchior _a look_. _Looks _are not particularly fun things to get, either.

Malchior, however, didn't notice anything especially nasty hurled his way because he was to busy giving the track a _look_. It reminded him of the training rounds for knights, where he had first met Rorek.

"_Die, you bastard!"_

_And the blood was seeping out off the wound in his side, and he was flapping his wings desperately trying to get away, but no, he was too heavy and he had lost too much blood._

_Then he was airborne, albeit only enough to not be affected by swords. Oh gods, the blood, it was spiraling off into the air, down, down, down. Some of it landed on Rorek, and he was so enraged, and the flame arrows started to come at him, and one hit the deep wound, and-_

"Malchior?

_AUGH! The pain, it was too much, and he was falling, falling, fal- but no, he needed to get back. But the flapping was so hard and he could hear his heart pumping fast, so fast, too fast! Blood was running freely, but thank the gods, or devil, whoever looked after him, he was back at his cave, but the cave was going black, blacker, gone._

MALCHIOR!"

_Gone…_

**Hey, whaddya know? More than one page this time! I've been trying to work on length, though I realize this isn't much of an improvement. As always, review, but not because the pairing left you scarred for life.**


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